Mother Knows Best...
It's hard to take small children to Mardi Gras parades. But, you can't very well live in south louisiana, two blocks from the parade route, and not try to make it to at least one a year. It's not that my kids don't love parades either, they LOOOOOOVE them. Are you kidding? It's loud, colorful and people throw you toys, beads and candy. Whats not to love when you're 3? As a parent however the whole situation looks like one big Amber Alert. Thousands of people in a small space, dressed in masks and utterly intoxicated. That kid leash thing doesn't look so bad at those moments.
We found ourselves next to a couple other families and once the bands started marching I calmed down a little bit. Next to us was a mom and her two kids; a little girl who was 2 (I know this because my 3 year old made it a point to get to know her) and a boy who looked to be 11 or 12. When a group of drunken strangers pushed their way into our space the mom did her best, amidst ridicule, to make sure her 2 year old was safe. I admired her for that. It certainly wasn't the popular thing to do but she knew that her little baby needed protection. I understood that feeling. Small children seem so vulnerable and that motherly instinct is strong. -- I looked at her son and thought to myself, 'it must be nice not to have to worry so much when your children get older'. (I can hear moms around the world laughing...) It wasn't long of course before he was climbing on the barricades and attempting gymnastic moves that surely would end with him being trampled by a Clydesdale. Mom jumped in. I've got to say- even with a marching band in your ear a mother knows how to make her voice heard. She got his attention, brought him over to her and told him firmly that if she saw him do it again there would be consequences. The boy replied with a roll of the eyes and those words that seems to echo into next week."But, Why!?" And mom of course replied with the only answer you can give in the middle of a crowd and you're worried for his safety- "Because I said so."
If you're a mom, or dad or if you've ever cared for a child at all, you can certainly relate to her stress. First of all, there was a moment of urgency there. She needed to keep him out of trouble and she needed to do it firmly and quickly or it would have been too late. Second, reasoning with a 12 year old is quite a feat. She should explain to him her reasons for calling him out (and I hope she did later) but that certainly wasn't the moment for it. But probably most important, even if she would have taken the time in that moment to explain...he would not have listened. No reasoning she could give him at that moment could convince him that climbing up on that fence wasn't the best thing for him.
As a mom, in those moments, you have to suck it up and be content with being the bad guy. Why? because you'd rather be unpopular than let your children be harmed. Because all the names they can call you and the glares from the crowd around you can't keep you from doing everything in your power to save your child's life. Even if he wont understand in the moment. Even if he never does.
As easy as it is to relate to the mom in this situation thats not really our strongest connection is it? When it comes down to it, we ARE that 12 year old child. Especially when it comes to our relationship with Mother Church. We are playing around in areas that are seriously dangerous to our souls and even though they seem in the moment to be harmless and good for us Mother is telling us to stop. When we ask 'But, Why?' we may have even gotten a blunt "Because I said so" but she's got good reasons. We can't see it beyond our desires but she only wants whats best for us. We just aren't willing to listen. Oh, she invites us to hear the reasons but we've already decided they aren't good enough before she opens her mouth. So, when she does take the time to teach us at home, away from the impossible situation, her explanation falls on deaf ears. So, she'll have to be hated for now. She'll have to accept that what she says is not the popular thing to say but knowing mothers as I do I can say this with certainty, she's not going to stop saying them or 'change' her mind. Why? Because she loves us more than we know. Even if we don't understand in the moment. Even if we never do.
Yes, I just compared you to a 12 year old. But not just you, every one, even me. You might disagree with me about that and thats fine. I will challenge you to this though, if you were offended by being compared to a rebellious child then don't act like one. At the very least be mature enough to listen to her reasons. Not from other people's opinions, but from what she REALLY has to say. Give her an honest shot, put aside your prejudices, educate yourself and THEN decide if its a good idea to climb up on that barricade.
Oh, and incase you were wondering, I wasn't just talking about the contraception issue here but that certainly is a good place to start. Here are some resources for you to consider like the mature adults you are:
Contraception: Why not? - Dr. Janet Smith
The Vindication of Humanae Vitae
The connection between contraception and abortion. - Dr. Janet Smith
We found ourselves next to a couple other families and once the bands started marching I calmed down a little bit. Next to us was a mom and her two kids; a little girl who was 2 (I know this because my 3 year old made it a point to get to know her) and a boy who looked to be 11 or 12. When a group of drunken strangers pushed their way into our space the mom did her best, amidst ridicule, to make sure her 2 year old was safe. I admired her for that. It certainly wasn't the popular thing to do but she knew that her little baby needed protection. I understood that feeling. Small children seem so vulnerable and that motherly instinct is strong. -- I looked at her son and thought to myself, 'it must be nice not to have to worry so much when your children get older'. (I can hear moms around the world laughing...) It wasn't long of course before he was climbing on the barricades and attempting gymnastic moves that surely would end with him being trampled by a Clydesdale. Mom jumped in. I've got to say- even with a marching band in your ear a mother knows how to make her voice heard. She got his attention, brought him over to her and told him firmly that if she saw him do it again there would be consequences. The boy replied with a roll of the eyes and those words that seems to echo into next week."But, Why!?" And mom of course replied with the only answer you can give in the middle of a crowd and you're worried for his safety- "Because I said so."
If you're a mom, or dad or if you've ever cared for a child at all, you can certainly relate to her stress. First of all, there was a moment of urgency there. She needed to keep him out of trouble and she needed to do it firmly and quickly or it would have been too late. Second, reasoning with a 12 year old is quite a feat. She should explain to him her reasons for calling him out (and I hope she did later) but that certainly wasn't the moment for it. But probably most important, even if she would have taken the time in that moment to explain...he would not have listened. No reasoning she could give him at that moment could convince him that climbing up on that fence wasn't the best thing for him.
As a mom, in those moments, you have to suck it up and be content with being the bad guy. Why? because you'd rather be unpopular than let your children be harmed. Because all the names they can call you and the glares from the crowd around you can't keep you from doing everything in your power to save your child's life. Even if he wont understand in the moment. Even if he never does.
As easy as it is to relate to the mom in this situation thats not really our strongest connection is it? When it comes down to it, we ARE that 12 year old child. Especially when it comes to our relationship with Mother Church. We are playing around in areas that are seriously dangerous to our souls and even though they seem in the moment to be harmless and good for us Mother is telling us to stop. When we ask 'But, Why?' we may have even gotten a blunt "Because I said so" but she's got good reasons. We can't see it beyond our desires but she only wants whats best for us. We just aren't willing to listen. Oh, she invites us to hear the reasons but we've already decided they aren't good enough before she opens her mouth. So, when she does take the time to teach us at home, away from the impossible situation, her explanation falls on deaf ears. So, she'll have to be hated for now. She'll have to accept that what she says is not the popular thing to say but knowing mothers as I do I can say this with certainty, she's not going to stop saying them or 'change' her mind. Why? Because she loves us more than we know. Even if we don't understand in the moment. Even if we never do.
Yes, I just compared you to a 12 year old. But not just you, every one, even me. You might disagree with me about that and thats fine. I will challenge you to this though, if you were offended by being compared to a rebellious child then don't act like one. At the very least be mature enough to listen to her reasons. Not from other people's opinions, but from what she REALLY has to say. Give her an honest shot, put aside your prejudices, educate yourself and THEN decide if its a good idea to climb up on that barricade.
Oh, and incase you were wondering, I wasn't just talking about the contraception issue here but that certainly is a good place to start. Here are some resources for you to consider like the mature adults you are:
Contraception: Why not? - Dr. Janet Smith
The Vindication of Humanae Vitae
The connection between contraception and abortion. - Dr. Janet Smith
So much goodness, truth, and LOVE! Thanks for the insight!
ReplyDeleteThanks Amy! Such a beautiful motherly perspective. Worth the read and reflection.
ReplyDelete