Stay close to Mary...
We showed The Passion of the Christ in its entirety last night to the students. All of us were excited to see it again especially before the start of the Triduum. I'd be willing to bet though that everyone had the same initial reaction as me once it began. Namely, I had forgotten just how horrible it felt to watch Him hurt....for me. It's a vitally important reality to be reminded of.
I'm ashamed to say it must have been a few years since I've actually watched it, reflecting. I had a different experience this time. I experienced it as a mother. During the scourging scene when all life is being beat out of Jesus and he begins to fall to his knees, crushed by the shock of pain- something happens. He looks at his mother. They lock eyes and you can almost see his body gain courage, strength and a renewed sense of purpose and he stands again.
My journey with Mary has been a long and, at times, reluctant one. Early in my adult faith I pushed Mary aside- Why do I need Mary? I have Jesus. I knew the 'reasons' and they were clear but emotionally I just didn't deem her necessary. Wow, typing that sentence makes me realize how ridiculous it is; "didn't deem her necessary" yeah.
I experience a very powerful conversion regarding the Blessed Mother during my trip to Lourdes 10 years ago. (See that story here) It set my heart and mind on Mary in a new way, as her child, needing her guidance. In grad school I fell in love with her once again. The more I learned about what it meant to be a woman of God, the more I "mysteriously" found myself loving Mary. So, I suppose if I've known her as her child and as a woman it only makes sense for me now to experience her as a Mother myself.
After the scourging scene Mary walks away, unable to watch her son suffer anymore. Even then, at that moment of unimaginable pain as a mother, Mary Magdalen comes to her and collapses in her arms, needing comfort. The Blessed Mother offers solace to her in a moment when her own heart is being pierced with agony and sorrow. I found myself jealous of Mary Magdalen as I watched last night, held by Mary- the one who comforts the Savior.
And of course, the scene that touches everyone heart- when Mary runs to the side of Jesus as he falls, bloody and weary with the cross on his shoulders. The flashback scene to her running to his aid as a child brings it all in perspective. She wants to make him all better, like every mom, but this time she can't, this time it's him making her all better- making 'all things new.' Commence tears, for real.
Old Mel may have some flaws, but he sure knows how to craft a scene.
So, in short, my experience watching the Passion last night reminded me that in times is grief and pain it's in clinging to Mary that I can stay the closest to Jesus. Maundy Thursday ends with altars being stripped and the Blessed Sacrament, our constant presence of the Body and Blood of Christ being reposed. We do not experience the sacrifice of the Mass on Good Friday. In all of this we are allowed to feel the ache of His absence. Let us cling to Mary during these days, as the beloved St. John did, so that we might draw ever closer to Jesus.
I'm ashamed to say it must have been a few years since I've actually watched it, reflecting. I had a different experience this time. I experienced it as a mother. During the scourging scene when all life is being beat out of Jesus and he begins to fall to his knees, crushed by the shock of pain- something happens. He looks at his mother. They lock eyes and you can almost see his body gain courage, strength and a renewed sense of purpose and he stands again.
My journey with Mary has been a long and, at times, reluctant one. Early in my adult faith I pushed Mary aside- Why do I need Mary? I have Jesus. I knew the 'reasons' and they were clear but emotionally I just didn't deem her necessary. Wow, typing that sentence makes me realize how ridiculous it is; "didn't deem her necessary" yeah.
I experience a very powerful conversion regarding the Blessed Mother during my trip to Lourdes 10 years ago. (See that story here) It set my heart and mind on Mary in a new way, as her child, needing her guidance. In grad school I fell in love with her once again. The more I learned about what it meant to be a woman of God, the more I "mysteriously" found myself loving Mary. So, I suppose if I've known her as her child and as a woman it only makes sense for me now to experience her as a Mother myself.
After the scourging scene Mary walks away, unable to watch her son suffer anymore. Even then, at that moment of unimaginable pain as a mother, Mary Magdalen comes to her and collapses in her arms, needing comfort. The Blessed Mother offers solace to her in a moment when her own heart is being pierced with agony and sorrow. I found myself jealous of Mary Magdalen as I watched last night, held by Mary- the one who comforts the Savior.
And of course, the scene that touches everyone heart- when Mary runs to the side of Jesus as he falls, bloody and weary with the cross on his shoulders. The flashback scene to her running to his aid as a child brings it all in perspective. She wants to make him all better, like every mom, but this time she can't, this time it's him making her all better- making 'all things new.' Commence tears, for real.Old Mel may have some flaws, but he sure knows how to craft a scene.
So, in short, my experience watching the Passion last night reminded me that in times is grief and pain it's in clinging to Mary that I can stay the closest to Jesus. Maundy Thursday ends with altars being stripped and the Blessed Sacrament, our constant presence of the Body and Blood of Christ being reposed. We do not experience the sacrifice of the Mass on Good Friday. In all of this we are allowed to feel the ache of His absence. Let us cling to Mary during these days, as the beloved St. John did, so that we might draw ever closer to Jesus.
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